This being a new venture for me, I decided that the key to a successful blog is to not think about it too much and just do it! One of the things you need to know about me is that I am a business person and for me to share this side of myself will seem strange to a lot of people who think they know me, but not so strange to the ones who actually do. Even though I am a business person, I am also an artist and I love to embrace the imprefect aspects of myself so the grammar will not be perfect here, there will be typos, but it will be real! I am all about being real!
My abilities as an Intuitive was always something I have struggled in accepting of myself. With psychic visions and audio clairvoyant experiences occurring pretty consistently throughout my childhood, I never thought I could share it with my family because I didn't understand it. Coming from a small town in Nova Scotia the population is primarily Catholic, and from my experience, we Catholic's don't believe in such things. Not exactly a nurturing space to talking about my grandfather that showed up in my room to say "Goodbye" after dying days before. I knew what to expect from my skeptical but loving mother, "Honey you were just dreaming!" After these conversations I would retire to my room deflated because I actually did see Papa, nobody believed me, and it was so frustrating! I was very aware that there was a life after death. Thoughts of "If they just believed me then the healing process would be faster", always framed my experiences but they never did, and I stopped talking about it.
It's only been the last two years that I have begun to accept this strange ability, which I actually think we all possess it's just stronger or more receptive in others. Even in this process of accepting I struggled and called the experience, "Coming out of the Intuitve closet".
For example,even after meeting my current boyfriend who seemed to be a trigger for some of the most intense intuitve experiences, I never felt comfortable talking about it. It had nothing to do with his acceptance of it, it's just that I didn't understand and I truthfully didn't want to debate it or defend it because it my world it just "Was."
Sometimes when you open that door for discussion with the public they often think you are trying to challenge their beliefs. I have no interest in doing this. I think we all have beliefs and different experiences here on earth and unless they are influencing people in a truly negative way I enjoy hearing and learning from all different paths.
During my twenties I became very involved in the wellness community. I studied Reiki energy healing, I learning how to give readings, I practiced Tai Chi and I experienced how to work with "Chi" in many different ways. This community is filled with some of the most amazing, accepting, beautiful people I have ever encountered! As I grew older I started to seek a different approaches to energy work because I found the constant state of living in this world of "Chakra's, Angel's and Energy Work", exhausting. I needed to learn how to use all these tools but still be present in the "Physcial World." I needed to learn about being grounded and how to incorporate being an Intuitive with being a mother, business person, partner and friend.
So I began taking notes and really paying attention to what was happening in my world because I knew I was not alone and that others out there probably had very similar experiences.
I would like to share these notes with you and open a conversation on how you use your intuition in your life. How do you balance your gifts with your personal goals and achievement? In my next blog I will be sharing some key definitions of different types of Intuitions, until then please enjoy a few more excerpts from my book that I hope to have edited and published in the near future! It is very raw and seriously needs to be ripped apart by an editor, but like I said before, I love embracing my imperfections!
My book is titled "Dear Cole, Never Say Never!" and it is a memoir written to my unborn child Cole, as I share with him the journey I have experienced as well as the journey I anticipate after choosing to be a single mother.
My abilities as an Intuitive was always something I have struggled in accepting of myself. With psychic visions and audio clairvoyant experiences occurring pretty consistently throughout my childhood, I never thought I could share it with my family because I didn't understand it. Coming from a small town in Nova Scotia the population is primarily Catholic, and from my experience, we Catholic's don't believe in such things. Not exactly a nurturing space to talking about my grandfather that showed up in my room to say "Goodbye" after dying days before. I knew what to expect from my skeptical but loving mother, "Honey you were just dreaming!" After these conversations I would retire to my room deflated because I actually did see Papa, nobody believed me, and it was so frustrating! I was very aware that there was a life after death. Thoughts of "If they just believed me then the healing process would be faster", always framed my experiences but they never did, and I stopped talking about it.
It's only been the last two years that I have begun to accept this strange ability, which I actually think we all possess it's just stronger or more receptive in others. Even in this process of accepting I struggled and called the experience, "Coming out of the Intuitve closet".
For example,even after meeting my current boyfriend who seemed to be a trigger for some of the most intense intuitve experiences, I never felt comfortable talking about it. It had nothing to do with his acceptance of it, it's just that I didn't understand and I truthfully didn't want to debate it or defend it because it my world it just "Was."
Sometimes when you open that door for discussion with the public they often think you are trying to challenge their beliefs. I have no interest in doing this. I think we all have beliefs and different experiences here on earth and unless they are influencing people in a truly negative way I enjoy hearing and learning from all different paths.
During my twenties I became very involved in the wellness community. I studied Reiki energy healing, I learning how to give readings, I practiced Tai Chi and I experienced how to work with "Chi" in many different ways. This community is filled with some of the most amazing, accepting, beautiful people I have ever encountered! As I grew older I started to seek a different approaches to energy work because I found the constant state of living in this world of "Chakra's, Angel's and Energy Work", exhausting. I needed to learn how to use all these tools but still be present in the "Physcial World." I needed to learn about being grounded and how to incorporate being an Intuitive with being a mother, business person, partner and friend.
So I began taking notes and really paying attention to what was happening in my world because I knew I was not alone and that others out there probably had very similar experiences.
I would like to share these notes with you and open a conversation on how you use your intuition in your life. How do you balance your gifts with your personal goals and achievement? In my next blog I will be sharing some key definitions of different types of Intuitions, until then please enjoy a few more excerpts from my book that I hope to have edited and published in the near future! It is very raw and seriously needs to be ripped apart by an editor, but like I said before, I love embracing my imperfections!
My book is titled "Dear Cole, Never Say Never!" and it is a memoir written to my unborn child Cole, as I share with him the journey I have experienced as well as the journey I anticipate after choosing to be a single mother.
July 14.04
Dear Cole,
Sitting here writing this journal to you, holding my belly try to grasp the reality that you exist, remembering those nights in Australia where I sat in deep mediation feels like light years away from this moment. How strange that in those moments it was when I was given my first glimpse of you.
I’ll never forget it. One day I went into a deep meditation after getting on my hands and knees crying to God to give me a sign. Where was my life headed? I fell asleep and had the most vivid vision I have had in years. I was sitting on a table giving birth. My best friend Karen and my mother were there, and every time I went into a contraction Karen would start rubbing these tattoos of flags on my leg, making me laugh. I asked her what she was doing and she said, “Well this baby has got to know where you’ve been.” I immediately woke up!
The feeling that embraced my body was a bliss I had never felt before. I didn’t feel alone in that room. I felt love radiating off of everything and the only thing I could think to do was get on my bike and drive to the store at the end of the road and devour a Mars bar. Chocolate always makes me feel fantastic!
I didn’t understand the vision, it wasn’t as if I wanted to get pregnant and I took it as a glimpse into my far future. I never clued in that the vision didn’t include a man in the picture. I didn’t question why it was Karen and mom I just thought it was a reassuring sign that one day I would be lucky enough to experience the gift of life. I called Karen in Canada right away to tell her about the experience. She was one of the best friends I had and always wanted to hear about my spiritual experiences since she had witnessed them first hand growing up many times over. It was one of those things I didn’t even really know I did but I guess I would get a faraway look in my eyes, blurt out something random that was going to happen and sure enough days later the episode I predicted would unfold. She knew I had this gift even if I didn’t understand it and it was nice to be able to share with someone without them questioning my sanity.
About a week after this vision I went into the city of Cairns with John. We had a couple hours to kill so he dropped me off at the mall. I walked around checking out all the stores and sales when I notice a man set up inside a smaller room and quickly saw he was giving tarot card readings. Someone was sitting with him and I watched as he intensely spoke to this person while point at each card. In front of his window he had a table with a scrapbook off all the police cases and he had helped solve. I had my cards read before while living in Halifax but I had never seen anyone with a record of using their psychic ability to help solve missing person cases. I was completely intrigued and decided to give it a go.
I sat down in front of him and I shuffled the cards, he briefly looked at them and then looked into my eyes for what seemed like an eternity. It made me uncomfortable so I let out a giggle to ease the tension. Then he just asked me a question that floored me. “Cara, why aren’t you doing this?”
“Doing what,” I asked playing dumb. He looked me in the eyes again and responded, “Honey you have the ability to do what I do. You have the sight, why do you not use it?”
I had never had anyone ask me that before, let alone know that I experienced the things that I did so I just told him the truth, “Because it scares me.”
“You don’t have to be scared you could really be helping people with your gift, why don’t you try?” He insisted but ever so gently.
“I don’t want to know,” I told him, “Some of the things I see I don’t understand and I’m not sure I want to.”
He looked back at the cards and then at me. “Well Cara you can run from your gift but you can’t hide and by the time you are in your early thirties it will find you whether you like it or not but it won’t be as scary as you think.”
I was fine with that, my thirties felt like eons away and I would just deal with it when the time came. The next thing he said to me almost made me fall out of my chair.
“Are you trying to get pregnant?” He asked with a serious tone in his voice that made me feel like I was being talked to by a parent.
“No” I quickly replied but I was shocked he asked me this considering I had just had one of the most profound spiritual visions thus far days before.
“Are you sure?” he persisted.
“Umm yeah,” I sarcastically responded, “Pretty sure that’s not on the top of my list I gotta say.”
He got quite for a minute and took my hand.
“Well, I have to warn you that if this is something you don’t want you must be careful because in exactly four months you will be pregnant.”
I left his little table dumb founded. One, that fact that he knew about the things I saw was a first for me, and two, PREGNANT! Wasn’t that a vision about my far future? I couldn’t even picture it and when I got in the car I joked around with John and told him what the so called “psychic” said. The last thing I remember about that day was saying to John, “Could you imagine if that happened? How my life would be totally different?” Then I put it out of my head.
A few weeks later I met your father and the prophecy which I had already forgotten about, began to unfold.
