Documenting My Mundane Life!

After moving back to Nova Scotia from Toronto, Ontario, I decided to start documenting and sharing with my viewers moments in my life as well as videos that highlight many of the things I have learned in my life as a mother, entrepreneur, intuitive and all round foolish person.

This first Vlog is just a silly intro into my life and my crazy friends. Check out out!

Stay tuned for my next video. 

TIPS ON HOW TO FINISH WRITING YOUR MEMOIR:)

New Beginnings

It has been a looooong time since I wrote in this blog but now I feel is the time to start again. It is a time of new beginnings!

I see a lot of new beginnings happening in a lot of people's lives. Everyone thought that 2012 was going to be the end but I can't help but notice a large amount of people waking up and living in a new consciousness. What do I mean by this? Well, I guess I see it in the little ways we interact with each other on a day to day basis. Our interconnectivity, our joy.

People (and a lot of men) who would never admit to being connected to a higher self, God, Universe, etc., are being called to something they can't describe. Many of them are noticing and telling me that what they think about manifests at a more rapid pace than ever before. I am noticing that in my own life at well. It is all very exciting.

So a little recap to where I have been and where I am hopefully going (I am going..geez do I ever learn to be careful with my words). I moved to the wonderful city of Toronto to start over and boy oh boy what a transition it has been.

 

 

I knew I had to move into a more prosperous environment for my spiritual AND career growth. I was about to finish my long awaited book, Dear Cole, Never Say Never, and I wanted to connect with a bigger audience.

Spirit guided my boyfriend Kyle and I, as well as my son Cole to this inspiring city and the people here have been amazing. I won't lie though, it has been difficult getting employment and figuring out just what the heck I am doing with the 290 books in my living room. How do I reach my readers? How do I tell them all I have learned and continue to learn. It was over the weekend that spirit gave me a real swift kick in the butt and said, "RELAX, it will all come together."

As I was researching online publicists and book reviewers I stumbled across a Wayne Dyer video on YouTube. Now if you are in the spiritual community you might be wondering how in the world it has taken me so long to watch or listen to Wayne Dyer and his teachings. I have absolutely no idea! I mean I knew about him and I knew what he did, but I just never listened to him before. I guess there s something to be said about that wise old saying, "When the student is ready the teacher will appear."

The man floored me! Totally floored me! It was everything I needed to hear in that exact moment and I knew I was going to be okay. That I had listened to spirit, was doing the best I could do in this moment and I had to "Trust in my own nature."

Please watch this video. It is absolutely worth every moment.

Psychic but Sane!

Today I want to talk to you about a great blog I came across called "Psychic but Sane." So many of us have psychic experiences, some more intense than others. We are all able to connect to a higher energy and receive information from the Divine, Universe, God, Budda, or whoever it is that you connect with. There are so many tools and techniques that you can learn to use your intuition on a daily basis and for your highest good and all those concerned. It doesn't have to be scary or like you see in movies or shows like "Medium" often times it is the most gentle reassurance that we are all connected and there is, without a doubt, more than meets the eye.

I love the blog by Anna Conland because it is a down to earth approach to teaching people about spirituality and the unknown. I too like to take this approach and strive to develop my materials in order to teach you how to develop your skills of intuition, but in the mean time, check out her blog. It's really worth the read!

For my next entry I will be discussing the positive outcomes of meditation and how you can use Channeling to connect with your spirit guides and angels!

Until then, love and light to all!


Cara Jones

How the loving energy of Reiki... kicked my naive spiritual butt!

You may be wondering how something as loving and gentle as Reiki can kick anyone’s butt, but of course I say that light heartedly and metaphorically.

I have been a second degree Reiki practitioner since I was 22, 12 years now (now you don’t have to guess my age). I will never forget that time in my life when I was about to receive my first Level Reiki, which would allow me to channel the universal life force through my body and help heal plants, animals and myself. There is no religious philosophy when it comes to Reiki, and it is an extremely gentle and loving form of healing.

The reason I say it kicked my spiritual butt was because at the time, little known to myself, I was in a spiritual crisis. Having gone through quite a bit in my life up until the age of 18, experiencing a sexual violation at 19, starting university at 20 and having my whole spiritual belief system completely transformed from Catholic to Wiccan, my soul had be challenged. It was more than I understood and as I continued working on my self-love and acceptance, as well as my individuality and creativity, while still remaining present in the moment. Let’s just say they were definitely learning years.

So here is the real deal. While carrying all that around, I was also wearing my new “image” of a spiritual person like a badge. Almost to say, “Look at me, I’m new age, I’m a hippy, I’m cool...accept me please!”

That was when I was lead to Reiki. I loved the idea of it, the fact that I could help others and heal myself. It also was a connection I desired because I wanted to feel whole, to experience oneness. Then there was my ego that never shut up. You know what I ‘m talking about, that voice in your head that tells you to eat the cake when you know you’re full, or says all those annoying things like, “Go ahead buy the dress, you deserve it,” when you know full well you are broke!

Well my ego was saying, “Get Reiki level one, then get Reiki Level Two, then get three and become a Master, then teach!” Yikes!

So I go into the workshop and I am initiated, and it feels great. Then Reiki did what it likes to do best, it healed!

Remember how I said I was looking for something to help me feel whole? Connected? Oneness? As a true believer in The Law of Attraction, I got exactly what I asked for. All the holes and spiritual wounds filled in and for a year I felt like I had a spiritual fever as I cleansed and worked through each issue that rose to the surface, then let it go! It took me over a year to get my second level and by that time I was a completely different person. I had release so much that getting the second level was an experience I could have only dreamed of. I began my journey of wholeness that I sought after and my ego, although still fully functioning, had grown a mute button that I could press any time I choose. It was amazing!

I wanted to share this with you because if you are about to get your Reiki level one I wanted to say “Congratulations” and don’t be afraid because even though spiritual lesson can be challenging they are also the most rewarding gifts to give yourself.

If you know of anyone who offers Reiki, I highly suggest trying it out. It is a warm, gentle and loving healing method that brings balance to your chakra’s and helps your spirit regain strength.

Love & Light to all!
Cara

In Memory of Dr. Ottilia Chareka

What do I say on this day that will be marked in my heart forever? Today is one year after the horrific murder of our dearly beloved Dr. Ottilia Chareka. How do I summarize the year? The only thing I could hear repeated over and over in my head for 12 months were the words, “Let go and let God!”

I am not a religious person although obviously extremely spiritual, but in the height of the horror, watching her five girls pick up the pieces of their lives, watching my mother who refused to grieve her best friend’s death, almost lose her own life from a stroke, holding Ottilia’s three year old baby in my arms as she cried for her mother asking me “Why she couldn’t stay with me forever?”, loving her as if she were my own but knowing I couldn’t keep her, over and over I could only hear, “Let go and let God!”

I don’t know why bad things happen. Why we have to experience such pain in life. I think I know less today than I knew a year ago, and I will probably know less with each passing year. All I know is that things are connected, love is connected and I am blessed to have known such a person and the creations she brought into this world.

So instead of focusing on the bad, I am going to tell you a story that made me feel like Ottilia was watching from distance. A experience that made me feel that all things are connected.

Last week I came home after interviewing some women in paq'tnkek about their experiences with domestic violence. Their stories and the process they have to go through to get help were so shocking to me and really opened my eyes to how our system needs to change. I remembered thinking, “Why did I never hear of this before? How can their struggle go so unnoticed in society? How can I help them more?” I started thinking about Ottilia. Then the connection became so crystal clear I almost fell out of my chair.

Ottilia was murdered by her husband but I was in such denial that this was a case of domestic violence that I didn’t want to even hear the term in relation to her. She was too powerful, too strong, and too intelligent, she couldn't be a victim of domestic violence! Could she? But the week she died my mother told me that Ottillia, who was a huge supporter of my documentary work, wanted me to come with her to document the process a woman has to go through to get help for her situation and family.

At the time when my mother told me this I was too grief stricken to understand what that meant. All I heard was that she wanted my help and I wasn’t there for her, and if I had of known I would have been in a heartbeat. I also remember thinking, “What is so crazy about the process of reporting domestic violence? Why would that be interesting?”

As I sat on my bed remembering this, I quickly realized, “Holy Shit! I ended up doing exactly what Ottilia wanted me to do, how the hell did that happen?”

Well this is how it happened. When RCMP Community Liaison Officer, Constable Jennifer Arnold called me after I moved to Sydney to part take in an anti-bullying workshop to teach youth video in Antigonish, I jumped at the chance. She had seen my video, Familiar Stranger, and felt I would do a good job working with the kids. She asked me if I would also be willing to interview the women of the community on domestic violence so she could use the footage for her powerpoint presentation, and of course I agreed.

Having experienced the situation around Ottilia’s death I was sensitive to the topic of domestic violence but truthfully had no idea what I was about to learn. As I sat there and interviewed these strong, amazing women I learned the absolute insanity they had to experience in order to get help for their situation. It was unlike anything I had ever heard. They explained in detail the process of how after they report abuse they are often intimidated by certain service providers and their children are often apprehended from their homes. This creates a fear and lack of trust, so they will often not report the abuse.

I was experiencing Community Economic Development in its rawest form as these women came together to educate each other and create change. They are tired of the cycle and strive to make a better future for their children. It truly was an honour and empowering moment just to be in their presence. If you would like to know more about this situation, please click the link on The Millennium Scoop. This issue should not go unnoticed and if there is a way to educate the public and create change, we are moving in the right direction.

So after returning home from a very intense interview with a young woman who outlined her fears, insecurities and strong desire to create change in the process, a lightning bolt hit me from out of the sky!

Without even being conscious of it, I was doing exactly what Ottilia wanted me to do. I did not seek out this information, it found me. She wanted me to use my skills of storytelling and video to help others and she believed in me. Ottilia tried to empower every single person she could in every part of her day, even if they didn’t want to be empower...hahaha...she would at least try!

So Ottilia, if you can hear me (and I know you can) thank you for pulling those heavenly strings and assisting in putting me in the right place at the right time. You will be missed but never forgotten and you have created a legacy in those beautiful girls. Missy, with her fiery passion and insight; Patience, with her humor and infectious laugh like yours, Patricia; with a gentleness and strength that comes out in a voice she has yet to unleash to the world; Primrose, with her skills and determination to succeed and ability to drive others to want to succeed; and Prisca, the funny, loving, beautiful light in my heart who I look forward to watching turn into a strong woman like her sisters.

For this I am truly grateful. Love and light to all!

What do you do when your child sees things you can't?

Recently I had a mother contact me about her son. He is only four years old and he sees things that scare him. He called them colours and that each colour was different, some were good and some were bad. The poor little guy was petrified to go to sleep at night, scared to be alone in the basement and often was caught staring at something that nobody else could see. His mother was at a loss for what to do. I told her that I understood how the little guy felt seeing things that others could not because I too had this experience at a really young age. The worst feeling in the world back then was the thought that other people couldn’t see what I saw; I felt alone and scared because it was very real to me. So I told the mother to validate her son by asking questions about what he sees, letting him know that she believed him.
After doing this her son did show signs of relief that his mother believed him. I then became curious to what my son Cole might have to say about this, he did after all tell me about the colours of heaven and for some reason what this little guy was saying felt all too familiar. Without giving Cole too much information I asked him if he might have any insight to what this little guy was experiencing.
Cole paused and said, “Mommy I am not sure just yet but I will ask my angels, but has he considered going to see an eye doctor?”
I smirked at his response because it was so cute, “Why honey, do you think what he is seeing is just something wrong with his eyes?”
In a very matter of fact way Cole responded, “I don’t know yet mommy but that is what I hear.”
So I left this for a while but then a week later as I was sitting in the bathtub reading a book called Angel Kids, I sat up right away when I read an excerpt from the book about a little girl who was claiming to see colour, some of them being good and some of them being bad. I ran to get my phone to call the mother right away but what happened next was so incredible, I still can’t believe my sons intuitive abilities.
Let me paint the picture of what was happening. I was in the tub with the bathroom door closed, behind the shower curtain, the stereo in the living room down the hall was blaring and Cole and my boyfriend Blayne were in the room at the end of the house wrestling loudly. I called the mother and told her what I read and I was on the phone for less than five minutes. I then proceeded to get out of the tub and get dressed then walked to the other side of the house to see what the boys were doing. I found them hiding under the blankets waiting to scare and tackle me. After a few minutes Cole stopped everything and just randomly said, “Mommy I know what the little boy is seeing.”
When I originally told Cole about the little boy all I said to him was, “The little boy is seeing something, it scares him, do you know what it is?” I gave him no detail.
Cole continued, “The little boy is seeing colours, some are good and some are bad but tell him to not be afraid cause the good ones won’t let anything happen. They protect us!”
I sat there dumbfounded! “Honey did you just hear me on the phone?” but Blayne confirmed that they had been in the room wrestling for the past 20 minutes.
“How do you know this?” I asked him and he so bluntly responded, “Cause they were just here and I see them too. Can I call his mom to tell him not to be scared and that I will go and talk to the little boy to let him know its okay?”
“Sure,” I replied and handed him the phone. The next few minutes he talked to the mother and confirmed what his son was saying. Then he ended the phone call by telling the mother, “You should really take him to see the eye doctor, there is something on his eye.”
When I took the phone back and spoke with the mother for a second she was shocked because she did not tell me that they just came from the eye doctor that day, and sure enough there was a spot on his eye that they want to keep a close watch. She was shocked that Cole knew this.
After hanging up the phone I looked at my son and said, “Honey you are so special I hope you know this, I feel so lucky I get to experience your gifts.”
In conclusion I would like to say to all the parents out there, we are giving birth to extremely energy sensitive children. Be mindful of what you say, listen to what they are sharing with you and you might be surprised with window of opportunity that opens giving you a glimpse into a world we have forgotten.

Enjoy these two videos, one on Indigo Children and the other about a boy who remembered Heaven!




Love & Light
Cara Jones

Following Your Passion!

So it's been a while since I have written in my blog! I have to say that sometimes things happen in ways you never imagine! There I was sitting in my Finance class in my MBA program in Sydney, Cape Breton, and the next thing my father has a heart attack and one week later I am living back in my home town. People asked, "Are you upset" but truthfully I wasn't upset about leaving at all. My dad is fine now but after a crazy year I think our family had experienced enough drama and we were all ready to move forward. In the end I learned that letting go is the best method because truthfully you never know what is going to happen, what doors will open and what experiences you will have if you resist.

For five years I have been studying Success Principles. Everything I can get my hands on I read if it has to do with success! At first it was with the Law of Attraction. Trust me when I say that understanding that process completely changed my life. I began to see how taking responsibility for your mistakes and your choices is far more than just saying you take responsibility. It's a knowing, action taking, resilience and persistence building, constant life lesson that continues to astound me every day.

Success is not money because without happiness, what is money? Just a piece of paper! Just stuff! Don't get me wrong, money is important, it creates freedom and opportunity! It can do amazing things and help so many people, but Wealth is what I like to invite into my life. Wealth is health, happiness, abundance, money, friendship, learning...pretty much a balance of everything. All of that does not come without gratitude and I live life every day in gratitude!

I think that maybe that it all started happening when I was a teenager. When you are sick and close to death on more occasions than you wish to count, you begin to be grateful for every single day, especially if you are not sick anymore.

Sometimes I feel like my illness was a whole other life ago! Over 100 seizures a day, shy, afraid, wanting a boyfriend more than I wanted anything! The young girl who really didn't think she had a future and that it all might end one night in her sleep, in a Tonic Clonic seizure, teeth slamming down on her tongue, bladder releasing and all control lost. Lost in more ways than one! That little girl dreamed of big things! How if she just had the chance she could help so many people, love so many people, and give to so many people! Even if that giving was just as simple as a reassurance that she too understood and could be there as a support for someone else experiencing adversity!

Now 17 years later, I am hear to tell you that miracles do happen! That now I wake up every day and I thank whoever is in charge for giving me the opportunity to inspire! To breath life....seizure free! I know I am the lucky one and I don't take that lightly! So now that I am back in my hometown, I have decided to continue my blog, talk about intuition, finish my book and teach all of you the power of thought.


It's with the gift of understanding these Law of the Universe that my life has completely transformed! Even in adversity I continue to feel joyful and I would like to teach you how to achieve this as well!

Please check out my new site where I have created a series of ebooks on Success Principles as well as opened a membership site for my life coaching and personal development! For a limited time I am offering a free trial of my monthly membership! You can also opt-in and download a free ebook called "The Law of Attraction Made Easy." I look forward to working with you all!

www.schooloflife.kajabi.com



Love and Light
Cara

When the Daughter becomes the mother!

So I know that I promised I would write more about my sons memories of heaven, but I think it's important to share a little bit about the moments that led up to this. These past 8 months have definitely been some of the most trying intense months of my life. The biggest lesson I have learned out of everything was...letting go. We can't control what happens, and sometimes the situations can be the most horrific life lessons, but we can control how we move on. How we heal, and how we remember.

We all have a story, some of them more traumatic than others, but in the end they are all pieces of us. They connect us. For that I am truly grateful.

It was the moment when I had to say goodbye to my mother when everything came full circle for me. In those three months we all had to say goodbye to our dear friend and mentor Dr. Ottilia Chareka. Her death came as such a shock to us because it happened at the hands of her husband. Truthfully writing this I don't even know where to start because all I can think about is her five beautiful daughters left behind to pick up the pieces. Such strength in the eyes of youth, such reflections of the things she believed in. I feel blessed to even know them.

My mother and father opened their home to the girls, which everyone in the community praised them for. What people didn't understand was, we always saw them as family. Ottilia was family. The three year old Prisca called mom and dad "Nana and Papa" since she was born, so to find the girls and embrace them with love was natural.

My mother was sick before this happened, have just retired on disability 2 months prior. At the same time it was in her nature to take charge, because although she was sick she had a spirit full of fire. Her life became appointments and scheduling, consoling and loving. She loved those girls and I believe that in her mind, they would be with her forever.

The truth was, in all this chaos (which I am not even scrapping the surface of), when the girls came to live with them I felt a strange sense of..relief. I couldn't quite understand it at first but then I realized, for the first time in 6 years the focus was off of me. A pretty morbid thought right? Especially in light of the situation? But mom and I were no different than any other adult mother/daughter relationship. We fought! I was constantly trying to show her how the glass was half full and she was always reminding me that "realistically Cara" the glass was half empty. She had fought so hard to keep me alive, to give me the best quality of life I could live, and when I was living it all she could focus on was what wasn't working. It drove me absolutely bananas!

She begged me to read my book. I wouldn't let her. I couldn't, it was about us and I knew that she viewed me as "Flighty, artistic" and wouldn't take it seriously until it was published. I wanted to show her that all her hard work had paid off and that I would be "Successful."

Then it happened. That moment when all that stupid stuff become so trivial. The moment when you realize that time is so valuable. My mother had a stroke.

Here is my memory of that moment:

I sat at my mother's bedside holding her hand. It was all I able to do. As I watched her cry out in pain. Her leg shooting to the sky, her face paralyzed leaving only a whisper in replace of her voice. I felt helpless.

Was this really happening? My dad had come into my sons room where I was sleeping on the floor only an hour before to tell me it was time. Time to say goodbye.

So many thoughts went through my head. I thought about two nights before, driving up the street and getting the vision. The vision of my mother having a stroke. When I saw it, the emotion took over my body and I had to do everything to control my car. I pulled over to the side of the road. I refused to believe it.

This is usually how I react to my visions. I would often speak out loud trying to bargain with God, "Oh please let that be wrong!" I would plead.

I got the call after a night of dancing with my friend Kyle who was also intuitively blessed. Hanging around with him was the first time I ever met anyone who shared a similar vibe as me. As if I could talk about these visions in a "normal" context.

That night after I shared some of my experiences with him, Kyle changed my whole perspective. "So what?" , he asked after taking a long drink from the beer that was just delivered to our table. "We can't control it. It happens. So what?"

I know this may sound nuts to many of you, but I completely got what he was saying. It was like hearing the Sex and the City phrase, "He's just not that into you," for the first time! Stop over analyzing, what happens happens and we have to just accept that it does. I felt refreshed by his point of view and we understood each other on a level that so many others didn't. That's why I was not surprised that he was there when I got the call.

I hung up the phone, "Holy Shit Kyle it happened! My fucking vision! Why can't I be fucking wrong, Dammit!" I got into my car and drove into town.

So there I was, sitting by her bed in my own vision. She whispered. I leaned in. "Why is this happening?" She mustered. "Please Cara, let me die."

I stared. I couldn't help but remember asking her to do the same thing for me after coming out of my first brain surgery. I understood the pain that made you beg for such things. Observing how the tables were turned I began to see how everything she had ever done to keep me alive, it had prepared me for this moment. "Whatever you choose mom, I support you." I whispered back and kissed her on the cheek while squeezing her hand.

As I looked down at my mother, helpless and scared, I couldn't help but have one regret, "Why didn't I let her read my book?"

That next week while home with Cole, we were in our regular night time routine of bath, book and bed, when he crawled up on my lap looked my in the eye and said, "Mom I'm sad about Ottilia and Nana!" His innocence always melted my heart and I hated at such a young age he always had to deal with so much. I hugged him, "I know honey, it's okay to be sad." As I rocked him he sobbed into my clothes. Then he stopped, "Mommy, why do people always talk about heaven like there is only one? Did you know that their are many different heaven's and they all have different colours?" His demeanor completely changed and he got serious with his description. "No honey, I didn't know that." I responded intrigued.

"We all have to graduate to the other colours, we learn something from each colour. You were in green and I was in blue, but we made our deal in heaven to come here mom to learn and help you graduate to blue with me."

For the next hour Cole sat there on the floor and talked non-stop about his memory of heaven. He told me that we planned this but that even though he remembers it still felt sad.

As I watched him vibrantly share his experience with me I felt blessed. Even though life throws you pain and growth, it's the small moments that make you realize you are part of a bigger plan. As my mother still fights to get out of the hospital seven months later I reflect on her strength in raising me and my brother. I cherish the little moments, let go and continue to move forward!

My next blog will share with you what Cole told me about heaven. Thanks for listening:)

Raising an Intuitive Child

I'm sure you would all suspect that I would be pumping my child with new age philosophy, talking to him about Angels and what not!  The truth was, I didn't.  I wanted him to develop his own sense of spirit without influence from me.  Sure, I had read all the books on children remembering their past lives and I knew if my son was going to talk about it I sure as hell was going to listen.  I knew from experience that being shut down as child when you are have a very real moment is not much fun!

There was definitely something about Cole that was different.  People could see it and often commented on it.  It was on my 29th birthday, he was three years old, when we went to sit in the corner of the room for a minute while the rest of the party continued on.  He always would get me to tell him about the story of when he was born.  This time I thought I would tease him and I turned the question around.

"Tell mommy a story about when she was born."

"Well..,"  he began answering.  Then he paused.  "Mommy, did you know I use to be a man before?" Surprised by what he said I answered calmly, "No honey I didn't know that." Then he got into detail.
"I used to be a man but I killed, then I was a baby but I didn't last very long, then I came to you."  These were strong words for this particular little guy and I was curious to see what he meant.  "Who did you kill baby?"  Looking up with those beautiful innocent eyes he answered, "Oh don't worry mommy I only killed myself."  Then he ended with, "Can I have some cake?"

Now I know what you might be thinking.  He saw it on T.V! He overheard someone talking.  The thing you need to take into consideration is the fact that his shows were very monitored and even if he did see something about killing yourself the child was three, he would not be able to comprehend what that even meant. That memory was just the beginning.

He started to talk all the time about his brother billy and his mother who he missed so much. He was very clear in letting me know that it was his mother before me.  I never really said much because I wanted to hear him tell me these things with no influence.  I would just say things like, "Really honey, tell me about them!"

One day he came home from daycare and said "Mommy can you sit down, I need to tell you about Billy."  I sat down and listened very intently, but what he told me next gave me goosebumps.  It wasn't just what he said but how he said it, as if he were 20.

"Mommy, I use to have this brother Billy before I was your son.  We didn't look like this, we were brown.  We lived in a black apartment and my dad had a shop.  One day my mother had to leave and dad took care of us kids." Then Cole made sure I knew, "Mommy, he did the best he could!"

"Then one day my mother came home and we went for a walk.  We crossed the street and the car hit me first, then it hit mommy.  Her body fell on top of my body and then we flew up to God."

By this time I was completely captivated by what he was saying.  As if my little boy had been taken over by a completely different personality for those few minutes.  I decided to ask, "Honey what does God look like, mommy can't remember?"  His eyes opened wide and a big smile came across his face, "Oh mommy God is so nice!"  Then he continued.  "When I went to God I took a little rest, then God showed me a picture of you and said I was a gift for you mommy!"  Then as quickly as this conversation started it ended with the question, "Can I have some fruit loops now."

As my son bounced off to the kitchen I sat there not really sure what had just happened.  To me it felt like a miracle.  Sure I could analyze it till the sun when down, but I choose to take it as raw innocence and a gift.  I never really talked to Cole about God, but I did find it interesting that when he spoke of "God" he never referred to a sex, like "he or she."  Don't even get me started on how amazing it felt to know that even though I didn't go to church, "God" had given Cole to me as a gift!

After this story he began opening up about being "That Man" again.  He said he use to know me when I was little and he knew Nana too.  I guess one day he got really upset with my mother and stomped his foot at her hollering, "Nana why don't you remember me, I knew you before!"  Mom unfortunely was not as accepting as I was and just told him that he was using his imagination.  This totally upset Cole.

One day while sitting with Cole in the living room of my friend's place he whispered, "Mommy you know what I told you about Billy (this was a few months later)."  I responded, "Yes sweet heart I do."  A sad look came over his face and he continued to whisper, "I made it up. I was just using my imagination."  I was shocked by this, in my heart I don't really think he was making it up, so I just said, "Really honey, that's okay!"  Then he leaned in closer and said, "I didn't really make it up mommy but that is what we will tell them. They don't believe me!"

By him using the word 'Imagination' I became curious.  This was not a word he used very often being only three and all.  "Who doesn't believe you honey?"  I already knew the answer so I wasn't surprised when he whispered back, "Nana."

Over time he began sharing his stories less and less but something always told me that he was keeping a secret for fear of ridicule.  Three years later after the tragic murder of our dear friend Ottilia my mother had a severe stroke leaving her paralized and currently still in the hospital.  With these two very emotional experiences Cole opened up again, this time he was not ashamed!

Stay tuned to find out about his memories of God, the different levels of heaven and why he feels he "Came back."

The Psychic Catholic Experience

This being a new venture for me, I decided that the key to a successful blog is to not think about it too much and just do it!  One of the things you need to know about me is that I am a business person and for me to share this side of myself will seem strange to a lot of people who think they know me, but not so strange to the ones who actually do.  Even though I am a business person, I am also an artist and I love to embrace the imprefect aspects of myself so the grammar will not be perfect here, there will be typos, but it will be real!  I am all about being real!


My abilities as an Intuitive was always something I have struggled in accepting of myself.  With psychic visions and audio clairvoyant experiences occurring pretty consistently throughout my childhood, I never thought I could share it with my family because I didn't understand it.  Coming from a small town in Nova Scotia the population is primarily Catholic, and from my experience, we Catholic's don't believe in such things.  Not exactly a nurturing space to talking about my grandfather that showed up in my room to say "Goodbye" after dying days before.  I knew what to expect from my skeptical but loving mother, "Honey you were just dreaming!"  After these conversations I would retire to my room deflated because I actually did see Papa, nobody believed me, and it was so frustrating! I was very aware that there was a life after death.  Thoughts of "If they just believed me then the healing process would be faster", always framed my experiences but they never did, and I stopped talking about it.


It's only been the last two years that I have begun to accept this strange ability, which I actually think we all possess it's just stronger or more receptive in others.  Even in this process of accepting I struggled and called the experience, "Coming out of the Intuitve closet".


For example,even after meeting my current boyfriend who seemed to be a trigger for some of the most intense intuitve experiences, I never felt comfortable talking about it.  It had nothing to do with his acceptance of it, it's just that I didn't understand and I truthfully didn't want to debate it or defend it because it my world it just "Was." 


Sometimes when you open that door for discussion with the public they often think you are trying to challenge their beliefs.  I have no interest in doing this. I think we all have beliefs and different experiences here on earth and unless they are influencing people in a truly negative way I enjoy hearing and learning from all different paths. 


During my twenties I became very involved in the wellness community.  I studied Reiki energy healing, I learning how to give readings, I practiced Tai Chi and I experienced how to work with "Chi" in many different ways.  This community is filled with some of the most amazing, accepting, beautiful people I have ever encountered!  As I grew older I started to seek a different approaches to energy work because I found the constant state of living in this world of "Chakra's, Angel's and Energy Work", exhausting.  I needed to learn how to use all these tools but still be present in the "Physcial World." I needed to learn about being grounded and how to incorporate being an Intuitive with being a mother, business person, partner and friend. 


So I began taking notes and really paying attention to what was happening in my world because I knew I was not alone and that others out there probably had very similar experiences.


I would like to share these notes with you and open a conversation on how you use your intuition in your life.  How do you balance your gifts with your personal goals and achievement?  In my next blog I will be sharing some key definitions of different types of Intuitions, until then please enjoy a few more excerpts from my book that I hope to have edited and published in the near future!  It is very raw and seriously needs to be ripped apart by an editor, but like I said before, I love embracing my imperfections!
My book is titled "Dear Cole, Never Say Never!" and it is a memoir written to my unborn child Cole, as I share with him the journey I have experienced as well as the journey I anticipate after choosing to be a single mother.

July 14.04

Dear Cole,

Sitting here writing this journal to you, holding my belly try to grasp the reality that you exist, remembering those nights in Australia where I sat in deep mediation feels like light years away from this moment.  How strange that in those moments it was when I was given my first glimpse of you. 

I’ll never forget it. One day I went into a deep meditation after getting on my hands and knees crying to God to give me a sign.  Where was my life headed?  I fell asleep and had the most vivid vision I have had in years.  I was sitting on a table giving birth.  My best friend Karen and my mother were there, and every time I went into a contraction Karen would start rubbing these tattoos of flags on my leg, making me laugh.  I asked her what she was doing and she said, “Well this baby has got to know where you’ve been.”  I immediately woke up! 

The feeling that embraced my body was a bliss I had never felt before. I didn’t feel alone in that room.  I felt love radiating off of everything and the only thing I could think to do was get on my bike and drive to the store at the end of the road and devour a Mars bar. Chocolate always makes me feel fantastic!

 I didn’t understand the vision, it wasn’t as if I wanted to get pregnant and I took it as a glimpse into my far future.  I never clued in that the vision didn’t include a man in the picture.  I didn’t question why it was Karen and mom I just thought it was a reassuring sign that one day I would be lucky enough to experience the gift of life.  I called Karen in Canada right away to tell her about the experience.  She was one of the best friends I had and always wanted to hear about my spiritual experiences since she had witnessed them first hand growing up many times over.  It was one of those things I didn’t even really know I did but I guess I would get a faraway look in my eyes, blurt out something random that was going to happen and sure enough days later the episode I predicted would unfold.  She knew I had this gift even if I didn’t understand it and it was nice to be able to share with someone without them questioning my sanity.

About a week after this vision I went into the city of Cairns with John.  We had a couple hours to kill so he dropped me off at the mall.  I walked around checking out all the stores and sales when I notice a man set up inside a smaller room and quickly saw he was giving tarot card readings.  Someone was sitting with him and I watched as he intensely spoke to this person while point at each card.  In front of his window he had a table with a scrapbook off all the police cases and he had helped solve.  I had my cards read before while living in Halifax but I had never seen anyone with a record of using their psychic ability to help solve missing person cases.  I was completely intrigued and decided to give it a go.

I sat down in front of him and I shuffled the cards, he briefly looked at them and then looked into my eyes for what seemed like an eternity.  It made me uncomfortable so I let out a giggle to ease the tension.  Then he just asked me a question that floored me.  “Cara, why aren’t you doing this?”

“Doing what,” I asked playing dumb.  He looked me in the eyes again and responded, “Honey you have the ability to do what I do.  You have the sight, why do you not use it?”

I had never had anyone ask me that before, let alone know that I experienced the things that I did so I just told him the truth, “Because it scares me.”

“You don’t have to be scared you could really be helping people with your gift, why don’t you try?” He insisted but ever so gently.

“I don’t want to know,” I told him, “Some of the things I see I don’t understand and I’m not sure I want to.”

He looked back at the cards and then at me.  “Well Cara you can run from your gift but you can’t hide and by the time you are in your early thirties it will find you whether you like it or not but it won’t be as scary as you think.”

I was fine with that, my thirties felt like eons away and I would just deal with it when the time came.  The next thing he said to me almost made me fall out of my chair.

“Are you trying to get pregnant?” He asked with a serious tone in his voice that made me feel like I was being talked to by a parent. 

“No” I quickly replied but I was shocked he asked me this considering I had just had one of the most profound spiritual visions thus far days before. 

“Are you sure?” he persisted.

“Umm yeah,” I sarcastically responded, “Pretty sure that’s not on the top of my list I gotta say.”

He got quite for a minute and took my hand. 

“Well, I have to warn you that if this is something you don’t want you must be careful because in exactly four months you will be pregnant.”

I left his little table dumb founded.  One, that fact that he knew about the things I saw was a first for me, and two, PREGNANT!  Wasn’t that a vision about my far future?  I couldn’t even picture it and when I got in the car I joked around with John and told him what the so called “psychic” said.  The last thing I remember about that day was saying to John, “Could you imagine if that happened?  How my life would be totally different?” Then I put it out of my head.

A few weeks later I met your father and the prophecy which I had already forgotten about, began to unfold.

Life as an Intuitive! How it all began!

So I thought I would start by telling you a little about myself and how life as an intuitive unfolded for me.  It seems I have an extremely detailed memory of my life dating back as far at three years old.  I use to have this imaginary friend named "Dini", who I remember following me around, making me laugh, and talking to me in one of the most transformative times of my life.  These were the moments that lead to my near death experience and the entry point into my gifts as an Intuitive.  Here are the first three subchapters of my book, "Dear Cole, Never Say Never" that I will be releasing soon. It is the beginning of my journey and how life was never the same again!

My Imaginary Friend
""He's standing right there", I announced with great conviction, "Can't you see him?"  My brother Chris and my mother Coleen just stood there and tried not to smirk too much as I so seriously introduced them to a being made of thin air.  "Cara sweet heart, there's nobody there," my mother soothingly confirmed.  I couldn't understand it, how could they not see him, he stood so tall and beautiful.  
    I had been seeing Dini for months now.  His presence was uncertain to me but I loved having him around.  Our conversation was limited, as if we didn't have to use words in order to know what each of us was thinking.  Little did I know that Dini was a visitor preparing me for what was yet to come.
    I was only five years old when he first showed himself to me. Shortly after I remember strange things started to happen to my body.  The first time it happened I was lying in bed staring at my floral print wallpaper, the room suddenly started to feel what I described at the time as "fat."  Each time it happened fear crept up onto my skin and buried itself into my soft flesh.  Dini, always there with a smile in his eyes made me feel at ease afterwards, but soon the episodes grew worse.  
    One day while acting out Snow White in my best friend Laura's basement she watched me fall to the floor thrashing and gasping for breath. Laura, thinking I was playing, giggled as she observed my silly additions to the story.  These episodes had become such a common occurrence for me that they never phased Laura or I, too young to understand the depth of what was occuring. My parents started to notice my strange behavior as well.  One time in particular walking into the mall I felt the sensation creep up on me, I tried to control but it was no use, fully conscious my legs lost all control.  I watched the walls of the department store grow lucid and alive, my tongue thick and heavy stood between me and my ability to communicate.  My mother tried to hold me up, she used everything in her will to support me but her daughter was falling away from her in more ways than one. 
    Dini remained with me this whole time, observing in the corner with his gentle and loving presence.  I knew that no one could see him but I was so relieved that he made himself visible to me, especially during school.  I began to find keeping up the charade that everything was adequate in my world a bit exhausting. Dini was the one thing that gave me strength when the abuse started to happen. 
    Mrs. Fraser, my grade one teacher didn't know any better, to her I was just  a spoiled child seeking attention.  Falling to the floor, staring into air when she asked me a question, these were all signs of a brat trying to be one above the rest.  The only ways she knew how to deal with me was to punish me.  Soon my lunch was being taken away, I was standing in the corner more than I was sitting at my desk, her eyes became so cold and her voice became coated with resentment towards me.
    So shy and introverted I couldn't understand why a grown-up hated me so much.  All I wanted to do was make her happy so I never told my parents about any of the things she did to me, I wanted to protect her. Dini explained to me in his own way that she needed love, but loving her I found most times to be an unbearable challenge.
    It was a cold December day and all the students had just returned from playing outside, each faces showing the rosy complexions of a Nova Scotian winter.  You could hear the hustle and bustle of each classroom preparing for the big Christmas concert for our parents.  Mrs. Fraser suggested that we practice our song in front of the grade two class to better anticipate our big debut the following week .  I was so excited and so extremely nervous.  We all considered the grade two class the big kids and I had a huge crush on a boy named Jason LeBlanc who would be sitting right there with his eyes on me.  As we lined up I stood tall ready to give a perfect performance. When I looked up and spotted Jason in the second row I blushed at the very sight of him.  The music started and we all began belting out our heart felt Christmas carol when I felt that familiar feeling starting to possess my body.  My legs started sinking to the floor, my eyes stayed focused on Jason and I tried fighting my legs with all my might but it was no use the feeling was stronger than my 6 year old will.  I lay completely flat on the ground looking up at Mrs Fraser  who was now leaning over me with a stern look of disapproval painted across her middle aged face.  She grabbed my arm and tried yanking me up to my feet but the feeling was stronger than her as well.  "Get up Cara,"  she demanded trying to keep her temper to a dull roar in front of the other teachers.  All the children were giggling and I prayed to God to make me vanish but God didn't answer.  Instead Mrs. Fraser decided to teach me a lesson for my disobedience and when I finally gain control and was able to stand she slapped her hand over my butt three times in front of the whole class as a warning to them not to cross her.  
    Dragging me to our classroom across the hall she continued to torment and accuse me of maliciously making a fool of her and the rest of the class. Tears streaked down my delicate cheeks as I stood in the corner the remainder of the day praying to God to make it stop and for Mrs. Fraser to like me again.  In the unconventional way that God likes to work, he answered my prayers.


My Death
    It was three days after the incident at school and I had caught the flu so I stayed home to re-cooperate.   The day after my experience with Mrs Fraser my  mother and father  sat me down trying to ask me all kinds of questions desperate in finding an answer to what was happening to their little girl.  I tossed and turned, playing and trying everything to get them to talk about something else.  I had no idea what was happening to me and I sure didn't want my mother and father to worry about me so I just decided not talking about it was the best answer.  
    After spending the day comforting me as I ran to the washroom vomiting from the stomach virus that polluted my body, my mother finally got me settled into a good night sleep. Quietly she crept out of the room gently closing the door behind her.  Mom joined my father in the living room who was already sprawled out on the sofa.  As they sat inter-twined the light flickered from the television revealing the tired expressions on both their faces.  A loss for words left the couple quiet and hypnotized by the imagery flashing before them.  They basked in the calm and in an instant the storm arrived with a bang.
    "What was that?" my mother blotted up at the sound of a pounding thud against the wall.  Feet not touching the ground she threw open my door to find me in a catatonic state changing various shades of blue, gasping for air.   "Dear God, Fran quick."  Dad already behind her ran to the phone and called the neighbor, a registered  nurse who happened to be off duty.  
    "Cara sweetheart, mommies here wake up baby."  My mother continuously called into my body as tears began gathering on the edge of her eyes.  "Mom what's wrong with Cara?" My brother Chris inquired as he peered into the room in shock by the sight of me.  "Go back into your room honey, your sisters going to be okay we just need to take her to the hospital so she will feel better."  The terrified look on Chris's face was enough to put my mother over the edge.
    As soon as the neighbor arrived she ordered my father and mother to help her get me into the car fearing I would not survive waiting for an ambulance.  My father with super strength and unwavering determination to save his little girl lifted my body as if my stiff body was stuffed with feathers.  Securing me in the car mom continued to call out my name while dad ran every red light all the way to the hospital. Upon arrival I was quickly whisked away to emergency where nurses and doctors attempted to suction me out and bring me back from the flat line state I had slipped into after drowning from the fluid that so quickly filled my lungs.
A view from the ceiling
    I heard the door close as mom left my room and for a moment sleep felt close by.  Soon that feeling was replaced with a rapid wave of fear. When my eyes adjusted to the darkness in the room I saw him standing in  the corner. Dini told me not to be afraid and that soon I would return.  With the end of that message I found myself rising and watched the situation unfold from the ceiling of my bedroom.  I felt no pain, no fear only lightness as I observed my parents trying to bring me out of my catatonic condition.
    Dini remained close. i could feel others with him and had an understanding of all that was occurring.  I watched the doctors work fiercely on my body determined to revive the limp precious six year old that lay before them.  Soon as quickly as I had floated away from that shell I was slammed back into it with all lightness exchanged with heavy pain.  My head throbbed, fear was back and confusion overcame me as I tried to figure out who I was, who they were, where I was and what had just happened to me.
    Sleep crept up on my body like a soft wave and for the next two days drifted in and out of seizures as they rushed me to Halifax for treatment.  Dini was gone and I never saw him again.  As if he prepared me for the dramatic arch of the story he excited stage right instilling knowledge in me to survive and overcome all that lay before me.  My six year old mind couldn't comprehend the miracle I had been given but upon reflection I was never the same again.